FWB Florida Situation
The first part of my trip to Florida was to meet up with that whole FWB situation I told yall about. I booked a lovely place on the ocean with the most amazing panoramic balconies. Uh, to die for. He came over for a few evenings when he was done with training for the day. (yeah FML why? with the military guys)
Unfortunately the only guy I’ve managed to find any interest in aside from my husband is a special forces member with a lot of responsibility that lives on the other side of the country. I kinda feel for him, his lifestyle is awful, not many women understand it or could ever put up with it. But he’s sweet and I don’t think he’s successfully dated in like 5 years. Mostly I like the things he thinks about, I can’t do boring. He’s far from it, albeit a little cliche at times.
So the first night we had was awesome. On the balcony haha. Definitely bent me over that white bench yall saw a photo of. (just incase you needed a visual) Something about having sex outdoors is so primal erotic. The warm night air was so sensual and enticing of all the senses. He is so comfortable with being naked too we stood there, naked, over the world below us while we explored each other.
We spent so much time just being together. I am not used to that. It makes me uncomfortable. He is the first man I have ever just laid with and enjoyed in that way. He’s safe and comfortable and sweet and one of the few guys I’ve ever been physically attracted to. I’m glad he’s older than me. It’s nice to share space with another really observant intuitive human. Someone probably more damaged that I am in some ways or at least someone who sees me without me having to say shit.
Wish I could write in more detail but I feel it would be a violation of his privacy and that’s not really fair. I struggle a lot with what I should and should and shouldn’t share. What parts of myself and my life and those in it I should leave out. We gain the most from honesty, but some of us are hurt when we are not expecting it or not in the right place for it. So it’s a balance.
I enjoyed myself, that’s all that matters anyhow, all anyone else or I need to know. Part of me doesn’t know what I get out of it. When I’m in my right mind I’m inclined not to think too much about that because it is something that doesn’t make sense. It’s a slippery slope that can leave you thinking you are lacking when in reality different people just touch your life in different ways and that is totally ok. Totally wonderful and taking what you can from different people and what they can teach you about yourself is some of the most profound self-growth you can have.