Fuck your Body Positivity
How to be ‘body positive’ is the #1 question I get asked, by men and women….the fact that men ask just as much as women says sooo much to me. (maybe they aren’t the drooling, ass chasing, emotionless pigs some of us have them pegged as?! eh? just a thought) Often they are asking about how to help the women in their lives. The profoundness of that is immense to me. Defiantly worthy of a discussion, another day on that tho my peeps.
Let me start by saying I prefer the term Self Worth! Through self worth you can work on a bit of self improvement. This is an important distinction because unfortunately the body positive community has become a smoke and mirrors show for some really big B.S. “self love”. Don’t tell me you LOVEEEEE yourself when I just scrolled through 367 photos of you with enough makeup on to repaint the damn Sistine Chapel, twice. For real, lets be real. Self love is not boob jobs, photoshopping out your cellulite, ASS implants (wtf I still have a hard time believing this is now the number one plastic surgery in America….don’t even know when ass is real anymore! #firstworldproblems)
In light of that we will go at this with the mindset that Self worth is what you are wanting to aspire to. Not some false sense of being accepted in an ever changing society….because sweetie let me tell you, this year its asses, next year it’s going to be freaking who knows, elbows, seriously we are, THAT dumb.
Self Worth begins with asking questions you don’t even know to ask. And a mindful intention to gain your worth as a human from within. It takes you into places of hurt and vulnerability because, and this is another problem I have with the term ‘body positive’, these things in your life that are holding you back are not physical ones. They are NOT your body. Accepting yourself starts at a level so much deeper, this all has literally nothing to do with your body.
I think for me the most fundamental questions on the path to self acceptance are:
1. Why am I NOT worthy?
2. Why AM I worthy?
When you are in a good emotional place get your ass a sheet of paper and make two columns. See what is defining your worth. One common thread that tends to bind folks who have really long ‘not worthy’ sides is they are attempting to gain all of their SELF worth from outside sources. Be that people, money, clothes, jobs, body, ect. YOUR BODY IS STILL AN OUTSIDE SOURCE and I know there are people who would disagree with me on this fact. (it’s your temple or some someflakery shit like that lol I just wanted to use the word snowflake)
Here is the thing, our bodies are in a constant state of change (hell my titties are just waiting to hit the floor). Our society and what it values is in a constant state of change. The ONLY thing we can control is our own thoughts and perceptions, our own values and worth and where we take those things from.
If we choose a life worth system based on societal things we will be ever trying to live up to that, therefore never ‘good enough’ because we are letting others define our worth. If we make our own, if we find the things that make our souls truly smile as individuals there is nothing to live up to. We are in a place of passion and peace within. How beautiful, that is what you are looking for, maybe you don’t know it yet, but I’m right bitch 😉
The happiest people I know are not the prettiest or the wealthiest…..hmmm I feel like I’ve heard that b.s. before! Oh yeah, I have, by these old wise motherfuckers. I always thought it was just a consolation prize statement old people made in some lame ass attempt to impart wisdom on the youthful crowd. Na, it’s just true. Really simple way of summing up what I’m talking about. We ALL know people like this. They all have a zest for life. They giveth exactly zero fucks about societal standards, they found what makes their soul shine and they do that thing and people love them for it.
That my friend is what you are searching for. You are on a quest for madness if you think anything else will cure your hatred of your muffin top, bucked teeth, or extra 30lbs. You can find 100 little quick fixes, you can look at yourself in the mirror 5000 times and chant ‘your beautiful and strong’….why? wouldn’t it be better just to go out and find the thing that makes you feel beautiful and strong? You can find validation from others, they will always eventually go away. You can buy new clothes and cover yourself in makeup, perfect every new trend, get everything just right, I mean it, you can be a bad bitch on the outside……but honey….spend this precious time you have to find the fire you are missing on the inside. The one that burns so bright nothing else matters. Because once you find that self worth NOTHING and I mean nothing can ruin you. Then you become the flame and you spread that light you so desperately crave out into the world.
We’ll talk a little about ‘self improvement’ as it relates another time! these kinds of talks are too much to have in one blog post, more like a book. And I don’t have the kind of attention span for all that 🙂